Revisiting Grief

It's hard to let my mind go back to the days and weeks immediately following the death of my son. While the healing in my heart and life has been nothing short of miraculous over the past few years, revisiting the early days is terrible. As I prayed this morning for a couple walking this same painful road, I had to put myself back in that place to remember their needs. It's difficult to let myself remember the severe physical pain. How there never seemed to be enough air in the room to breathe. How it seemed so wrong that the world kept turning, uninterrupted, when our world had crumbled beneath us. Every morning after a night of fitful sleep and dreams you wake up praying it was all just a nightmare. All the awkward conversations with those who just didn't know what to say. Breasts aching to nurse the son you will never hold again in this world. Why would I want to go there again?

A sweet young couple from Brandon is living this nightmare. Monday morning they held their 4 month-old son and Monday night he was gone. I do not know the Bowens, but I hope to meet them soon. As a new grieving mother in 2008, there was so much comfort in talking with others who had walked the road before me, even those who were just a few steps ahead. I pray the Lord will allow Scott and I to somehow offer comfort to Maren and Brandon as they begin to navigate the pits of despair that follow the loss of a child. If you are a praying person, I would ask you to pray for comfort for this family in the weeks and months that follow. If you know them, tell them you are praying for them. Speak their son's name to them, for the sound of it will always be beautiful to hear.