4/8

I never wanted to watch my child die. I never dreamed that God would choose me or my child to experience unbelievable pain and catastrophic grief on this earth. I just never saw that happening. Those kinds of things happen to other people, like Job in the Bible when he lost all his children. Or David when his infant son died. Or strangers on tv. Not me or my child.

During the last moments of Aaron’s life two years ago, we rocked him told him how much we loved him. We cried and kissed him and savored each moment, all the while desperately hoping for a miracle of our choosing. One that did not come.

It only recently occurred to me that we had been given a great privilege. How many people are chosen to hold their child as he goes straight from their arms to the arms of Jesus? We don’t always remember this blessing as we have struggled through our questions, tears, and quite honestly, our anger and bitterness. The stormy sea of grief tossed us around for a very long time and sometimes we still fall out of the boat.

Despite grief and all the other emotions, we believe that God restores brokenness and turns mourning into dancing(Psalm 30:11). Even though we don’t deserve His goodness and healing, He IS good and He DOES heal. He healed our son in Heaven and He continues to heal our hearts every day.

"The Lord gave and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21.